Wheatley: Yeah, raptors are pretty scary.
me: I know, my pet raptor almost ate my leg.
Wheatley: Wait, it was a pet? I want a pet dinosaur.
me: Yes, I had a t-rex and a raptor. I wasn't afraid of the t-rex because a. it wasn't as mean and b. it wouldn't see me if I stayed still. The raptor was sneaky.
Wheatley: I'm not sure what I would go for.
me: I would hope that you didn't have to worry about your pet dinosaurs eating your limbs when you came back from the gym.
Wheatley: Nah, they would know who was boss.
me: Psh, no. They're dinosaurs.
Wheatley: Hey, I've got my ways. You just have to establish dominance and be able to quell any uprisings.
me: to dinosaurs?!
Wheatley: Yes.
me: Fine. When your pet dinosaur tries to eat your neighbor, I'll be yelling "establish dominance!!"
Wheatley: You crazy? You can't let your dinosaurs near people to eat them. Once they develop a taste for human blood, it's all over.
me: No, I want a cute little Yoshi dinosaur that I can take to the park.
Wheatley: Oh...Yoshi isn't a big deal. He would eat you then poop you out as a shell.
me: Seriously, I can't believe we are having this conversation.
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