Forget rose petals, I’m going to hire someone to throw ice melt when I walk, King Jaffe Joffer style.

I chuckled about that caption for a good five minutes after I posted it. If you ever see me chuckling at my phone, 98% of the time it's not because someone has said something funny to me, it's me laughing at my own wit. 

Hey, at least I amuse myself.