Sigh. Please don't let this really happen to me.

Girl #1: He made the most amazing spaghetti bolognese.
Girl #2: Really?
Girl #1: Yeah, I was so impressed, I slept with him.

found on overheard in new york.

This is how printmakers roll.

oh, b.

Me: What's for dinner?
Brett: hahah I had some pasta.
Me: What was on the pasta?
Brett: Just sauce.
Me: yeah.
Me: You're not much a foodie are you.
Brett: yeah not really.

A play by play of Thursday

My alarm goes off at five forty. I want nothing more than to burrow deeper into the pillow. Snooze twice before getting up. I have to go early to study for a 9 AM exam. Studying the night before didn't work out as planned 'cos I kept daydreaming about sleeping. I'm only about half an hour ahead of schedule but that means light years in traffic time. Breakfast consists of five Pillsbury mini pancakes. They're delicious and only take fifty seconds to cook. Genius in my book. Mint and tarragon tea. I break off a twig of rosemary for my water bottle on the way to the car.

Traffic is bad today. The soccer mom behind me keeps checking on her kids in the backseat. Bitch, you are going to get it if you hit me. The cars play stop-and-go until 123 south. I open the windows and crank up the music. Today's playlist is called "AB! OB! CB! BC! GK!" and consists of Billie Holiday's Ken Burns Jazz, The Hood Internet's Volume Three Mixtape, The Gray Kid's Free Music and My Morning Jacket's The Tennessee Fire. 16-wheelers in the left lane is just plain wrong. The white van in the right lane reminds me of van paranoia of the DC sniper days. Zigzag, mothertrucker, zigzag!

Lot K. I get a prime parking spot. Front row of the nook. This makes me happy. I kill the engine, recline the seat and hit the books. Flash cards are made. They're pink. I should pull a Legally Blonde and spray them with the Country Apple body spray in the backseat. I study and memorize as best as I can. Some girl in a red Ford Focus parks next to me. She makes me mad by leaving her engine running for ten straight minutes to fix her makeup. Girl, you must hate the ozone.

Exam time. Wow, I know more than I thought. Kudos to me. I finish around nine forty-five. Walk to FAB and put my stuff in the locker. We have too much matboard and ink. Gesso, fixative and paper towels eat what little locker space is left. Posted inside the door are various photos, the Valentine's Day card from Thamm and the Puerto Rico postcard from Yassine. All we need is a locker organizer and an "I heart Zack Morris" sticker. I have no one to talk to yet. Fasick, Kirk, and Patten are still in class (Art Now, Art Now and 180). Bates won't be in for another half an hour or so depending on how early her brother gets up.

I go into B206. I always check my email and such in there since there isn't a class until half ten. Dean has emailed me saying that Lemonade Lists looks nice and that he wants to talk to me about honors. This makes me nervous. I text Bates about it. Accidentally send it to Dean, womp womp. I feel like I should be embarrassed but all I do is laugh. Patten's class is finished. I stand next to her computer while she has a mild freak out over a Photoshop file. Watkins comes by and reassures her that it was saved. We walk to B200. Frederick's Print 1 class is in there. Oh, there's that witch from the other day. She mean mugs me. Whatever. I hate you. I go down to sculpture to meet with Dean. He's in a meeting with Ashcraft. I visit with Valdy about her tree stump. God, she speaks quietly. I find myself leaning in sometimes to hear. She would make an awesome librarian. Wearing black is never good when visiting the sculpture folk. I get plaster and sawdust all over my black shirt and tights just by walking through the room. My coat was covered the last time I came to visit Iron Shannon.

Dean is back. He's got a million and nine things to do today. He speaks quite fast and there is constant sighing. We chitchat a bit about honors while moving frames for the skylights. I love their fire engine red color. Turner and Bates show up. Bates and I mill about in front of the [container (space)] since we have nothing better to do. The weather is beautiful and I don't want to be cooped up in the print studio. Ashworth is loading wooden racks to be thrown away. We help. I scrape my wrist but don't realize it until Stanley's class. I hope I don't have tetanus. Ashworth, Bates and I are all wearing green. Smiley pops in from her drawing II class. There is mild drama with her roommate. She vents for a bit and then leaves. Dean and Turner install the first pane of glass. Though cloudy (hey, it's donated shelf glass), it looks great. Turner is halfway down the ladder when Dean lets go to get something. Unsupported ladders make me nervous. Ladders make me nervous. Free heights make me nervous. I hold the ladder.

Bates is hungry. I run upstairs to get my wallet just in case something tempts me. Patten tells me that the witch complained our class was mean to her. It is what it is. Run back down. I go with Bates to the JC. It is five before noon which means that the queues are PACKED. The shortest line is in the Patisserie and she gets a ham & swiss on croissant. My lunch (sliced strip steak over romaine and diced apple) is still in front of the container. We go back and continue to stand, this time with food. Duncan and Moi are now there. I chuckle a little bit every time I see him since moi, pronounced as moy, means pubic hair in Lao. Turner gets in a verbal tussle with some birds. "That's right! This is my territory, bitch!"

Busch comes out for a bit. I don't know what she's working on but it is a goldenrod yellow satin and glints in the midday sun. She has a galloping wind up toy that looks like Don Quixote. I send a video of it to my sister who responds with "riiiiiiiiight". Turner wants a smoke. I text Boek asking for one. This is a joke since he never responds to my texts and, knowing that I don't smoke, is constantly asking Bates and me if he can bum a cig.

Moi is spraying a large board with gray spray paint. Apparently the wind has shifted because the next thing I know Ashworth is moving him so the drift doesn't hit our food. Goodness, Duncan has a booming voice. Holy hell, a text from Boek asking if I still need a cig. No, we no longer need or want your cigarette but thank you very much. I'm incredulous that he has responded. Bates and I clean the remaining pane of glass. She accidentally sprays me on the arm. I'm tempted to hose her with the water. No, really tempted. I tremble with glee as I imagine her walking into her Arguments and Policies class dripping wet. I relunctantly relinquish the hose.

It is almost time for my next class. The eye candy, as Busch refers to them, are engrossed with whatever it is they're doing on the roof and we leave them to it. Print studio is packed. Naked John is in there working on a woodcut. I direct him to a barren since the press is occupied. The guy whose hand I played Florence Nightingale to is there. Fool stabbed himself with a woodcut tool a few weeks back. Pity I don't find him attractive. That had meet-cute potential written all over it.

Boek comes out of his class. His hat continues the green theme. We stand outside on the ramp for his scheduled smoke break. Bates is nervous about her impending presentation. We all part ways. Stanley arrives relatively on time. The class is half empty. It must be spring fever. We go over the papers from last class. Sam Chen's tribute to Giacometti. Artist profiles and artist statements. I jot a note reminding myself to bring in the grocery bag prints in for the final class.

Class is over. I go back in the print studio. Tomorrow's plan is prep work. Tearing and tabbing the Rives. Print registration is my nemesis. Bates returns. She is ecstatic that her presentation has gone well. I grab my things from the locker. Dean and Turner are across the hall in animation (animation? film?) class. Duncan is outside smoking with Christine. We leave.

____________

I started this play by play out of boredom. During this time I watched The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy and Ghost Adventures (Travel channel is good times), had dinner (roast leg of lamb with acorn squash and Caesar salad) and dessert (turtle brownie, vanilla ice cream and coffee) and contemplated recounting the rest of my yesterday. I took a few breaks to chitchat with Svy about going to the temple for Lao New Year and to Dean about gardening. It is now close to three in the morning. My story ends here. If you read this entire thing- I love you. So much.

Sananikone out.

Rave On

Drama Update: Print 1 lady went around telling people in her class that we were mean to her. Really? Really? Wow.

Also, thanks to Steph T., the Spanglish sandwich with the addition of avocado!

I am likethis with books/Define "continuously."

There was a book sale in the FAB this morning. $1 each! Yeah, boyyyyy.

I started this blog a few months ago and I have yet to write a substantial post. Why? I don't know. If you were to look through my moleskin (technically Books-a-Millions's slightly cheaper version of a moleskin), you'd find a few jotted notes about things I'd like to post:

- Seeing The Bird and The Bee @ The Barns at Wolf Trapp and the car trouble/hobnobbing we had afterward.
- The AVT crew's brunch at Yathrib's that I wanted to write about but never did.
- The Brits/Gandhi and Alf's Wedding/wearing all white for Easter
- The latest and greatest in the Fine Arts Building/the new FAB (technically the School of Art but let's save that for another day) and various printmaking/design decisions and news.
- Teaching Nat how to make chicken with forty cloves of garlic.

What I have decided to tell you about is the mini-drama that occurred in the print studio this morning. The decision came after much debate...ok, ok, not really.
A: it's fresh so it'll be easier to write and B: since it's fresh it will therefore be faster to write and I've got studying to do.

So Mr. Daniel Dean was relief printing with some metal plates that he had. License, address, I forget. One of the print 1 ladies, whom I already don't care for since she's yappy and whiny, walks up to the press and starts fiddling with the settings.

(The following recount may not be entirely word for word.)

"Oh, hey, I think he's using that." said Betsy.

The lady then walks up to the "I'm just minding my own business and listening to my ipod" Daniel.

"Are you using this?"

"What? Yes."

"When will you be done?"

"Well, I'm going to print until class is done..so, about an hour?"

"You're going to be continuously printing for an hour?? I need the press. She said that I need to work outside of class."

"Well, it's his class so he gets priority." (Betsy) This statement is completely ignored.

"I need to use this. When is your class over? How long do you think you'll be printing? Half an hour? Twenty minutes? Half an hour?"

This continues for awhile until the lady decides that she'll work on something else for forty-five minutes until our class is done and the press is free.

"Daniel, why didn't you just tell her off? That was damn rude." (me)

"I don't know her and I had an audience!"

"Please. We want to hear it! Tell her off next time!" (Betsy)

Long story short, she comes back to find him still printing. She gives him some song and dance about how she needed to hurry because she had to pick up her child from the bus stop. He says that everyone in there has responsibilities and that she should relax. Haha!

Let's see. How about you come in during open studio time? Manage your time better? Pick up a quarter and call someone with a violin. I'm all for the whole "we're building a print community" thing but that was just plain rude and pushy. Don't even get me started how she showed up tipsy for the Krystof Wodiczko lecture.

Fin.

I guess you can call this the first real substantial blog post here at Lemonade Lists but I really just consider this ranting.

Dinner for Ten