Things I wish I can say to other drivers but usually end up saying them to myself aka Look At That Crazy Bitch Talking To Herself.

• Get off your damn phone!
• Your dog is cute!
• Your blinker is on! 
• You tailing me is only going to make me go slower and give you the stink eye. I may even pull a Stephanie and point at you in the rear view mirror (works like a charm).
• Oh, hello. 
• You do not need to slow down if you see someone getting pulled over! 
• You better hope that ladder, yard trash, big-ass ugly couch, or pointy looking object doesn't fall off the bed of your truck and hit me. 
• Can I get my face back? Damn. 
• I'm just automatically going to assume that you are an unsavory character if one of your headlights is out and you are following too closely.
• What are you eating? Oooh! Where did you get that? 
• You go! You sing that song! 
• I hope you stab your eye out with that damn eyeliner.
• Don't look at me like I'm nuts because I'm laughing by myself! Your bumper sticker is funny!
• Bitch! This is a one way street!