Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Things I wish I can say to other drivers but usually end up saying them to myself aka Look At That Crazy Bitch Talking To Herself.

  • Get off your damn phone!
  • Your dog is cute!
  • Your blinker is on! 
  • You tailing me is only going to make me go slower and give you the stink eye. I may even pull a Stephanie and point at you in the rear view mirror (works like a charm).
  • Oh, hello. 
  • You do not need to slow down if you see someone getting pulled over! 
  • You better hope that ladder, yard trash, big-ass ugly couch, or pointy looking object doesn't fall off the bed of your truck and hit me. 
  • Can I get my face back? Damn. 
  • I'm just automatically going to assume that you are an unsavory character if one of your headlights is out and you are following too closely.
  • What are you eating? Oooh! Where did you get that? 
  • You go! You sing that song! 
  • I hope you stab your eye out with that damn eyeliner.
  • Don't look at me like I'm nuts because I'm laughing by myself! Your bumper sticker is funny!
  • Bitch! This is a one way street! 

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