Kenny: I keep smelling ramen!
me: IT'S BECAUSE I'M ASIAN, ISN'T IT?!
Eric: (spits beer) I mean, I wasn't going to say it.
Eric: We thought he was getting guns. He was just getting beer. Silly us.
(repeated line about Tammi/Tammy/that drunk girl)
Brie/Brianna/I don't remember: Don't worry, she's a very nice girl.
(after a brief lull in the conversation)
Eric: I am so excited for my eggs.
me: Austin, you want to go halfsies with me on my food?
Austin: No, I'm good, thanks.
me: You sure? I'm not going to eat it all.
Austin: Ok, I'll take some bacon. I knew I liked you, now I know why.
Eric: (phone notification) Ah, this one bitch keeps texting me.
me: Call her your girlfriend like a normal person!
Eric: This way I seem more interesting.
Everyone at the table at one given point: Thank you so much for dealing with us. Don't worry, we tip well.
The waitress: Pfft, y'all are fine. Someone tried to tip me in weed earlier.
Joey: (referring to me during some rough and rowdy times) Look at her. She is so uncomfortable right now.
Austin: I know. See! This is what happens! We try to bring a nice person into the group and then we never see them again.
(after I called them out on something)
Kenny: What the hell? You notice and remember everything! (I totally do. Hello, two days later and I've got half the conversations down. Skills, son.)
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